Thankfully, I avoided that particular kind of bomb. My cousin set me up, and she’s been on her own fair share of blind dates. Thus the words “Don’t feel any pressure, I won’t be disappointed if it doesn’t work out” came out of her lips at least 20 times this weekend, and a few hundred times since December.
No, the bombs that I have been hit with over and over have come from the over 40 set. And I love them, and they me, so I suppose that’s where the pressure (and may I say SERIOUSLY bad theology) comes from. Ok, backing up.
The guy that my cousin set me up with comes from a well liked and well-known Christian family in the city I live in. He lives 2 hours away in the town that my cousin lives in, works with her husband, and generally has a lot of connections to people I know. We run in similar circles, but not identical circles.
And we had a fine time together. I wanted to attend my alma mater’s (high school) out-of-town basketball game, so we went and watched as the other team miraculously had 6 people on the floor at any given time. I hate bad refs. The uncalled for Technical foul against our point guard had my date up in arms, and even though he went to our cross-town rival high school, he started cheering along with me. Both of us being smart-asses, we had a good time really torking off the parents around us. I tried to be good, but at one point passion overcame me and I screamed “Where’s Ashton Kutcher, cause WE JUST GOT PUNKED!”
So, what went “wrong?” Well, he’s not really a Christian. And while I know that’s a silly reason not to fling myself at the alter of marriage (and thereby become “happy.” My life is so “miserable” right now), It –crazily enough – is a major deterrent. I’ll write another whole blog tomorrow about my present place in my spiritual life and how it affected this date.
One small-and-overlookable-but-still-kinda-annoying thing: True, I think it’s because he was nervous, but he walked in front of me by a good 2 or 3 feet each time we walked anywhere. I was in 3 inch heeled boots. Walking on snowy sidewalks in these (very cute) boots is not a fast endeavor. He BOOKED it to the door.
He DID pay for everything! I’m not so selfish to think that every guy out there would have been willing to do so on a blind date, and I do appreciate it.
He IS very funny and sarcastic, which I humor myself as also being. Overall, though, I basically felt as though neither of us were overwhelmed with the other. A strong appreciation, but nothing more.
Which is where the bombs come in. Back in my hometown, what is the overarching messages getting through to me?
~He was probably nervous. Therefore, it’s not good to dismiss him out of hand
~All guys do annoying and thoughtless things
~You’re too picky.
~It’s too bad that it didn’t work out because his mom is so nice.
~Maybe you could have been a good influence on him spiritually.
May I scream for a second? I AM NOT. I AM NOT “TOO” PICKY, AND GOD IS NOT BOUND BY MY DESIRES OR “PICKINESS.” I DO NOT NEED TO RUN AFTER A GUY BECAUSE HE IS UNMARRIED. IT IS NOT “TOO BAD” THAT THIS DIDN’T WORK OUT.
Napolean D: GOSSSHHH!
It just didn’t work, ok? I’m all right with it, from what my cousin says, she’s sure he’s fine with it. We had NOT hung our hats on this date by any stretch of the imagination.
And finally, ya know what? I did “missionary dating" – even though I didn’t really know it at the time. I dated the one guy I really think I fell in love with, even though his intellect outstripped his spirituality by a hundred yards. And I loved his Christian family, his sister is one of my best friends and all of those were major reasons why we dated. So I could be a good influence on him. And ya know what? I got my heart. Stomped. On. in a crass and rude way. It hurt, and frankly, I want a guy who is pursuing God as I am.
And? Every. Single. Person. that loves me battles with hate for “B” for what he did to me. WHY in the world would I do that again?
So I’m not going to, and I’m not “too” picky. Yes, I’m picky. But it is bad theology to doubt that there is not ONE guy out there that God has for me, and that since I’m too picky I ought to be pressured into taking a guy who doesn’t. Even. Like. Church!
May I find the one who is as “picky” as me.
1 comment:
You crack me up! I hope some day you'll find the nerve to be honest with us all about how you really feel about things like this (jk). I also hope that God will grant you contentment and hope as you keep your standards high and keep seeking his best for you!
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