Wednesday, December 29

Christmas Gift

One of the best gifts I received this Christmas (ok, right after the oh-so-amazingly-soft sherpa robe from my mom) is the book "If" by Amy Carmichael.

Carmichael ministered to Irish Mill workers, the Japanese, and then in 1895 she began her ministry to the children of India until her death in 1951.

"If" is a collection of thoughts on True Love. I'm reading a few each night.

Last night:

If I can enjoy a joke at the expense of
If I can in any way slight another in
or even in thought,
then I know nothing of Calvary Love.


If in dealing with one who does not
I weary of the strain, and slip
from under the burden
then I know nothing of Calvary Love.

How true, personally convicting, and compelling!

Trying not to Vomit, Vol. 2

This isn't nearly as gross, but this place is the bearing of my soul, and I promised a friend of mine that I would blog something of importance and humor to her.

iTones, I spilled milk in my car. AGAIN.

Edited to Add:

Ha! I ran down on the local industrial cleaner place and grabbed the stuff that two people have told me works.
My car now smells like orchard apple. (yea!) We'll see about tomorrow.

Trying not to vomit

Everyone usually says that they want a dog or cat or something. If they're a dog person, they have visions of a sweet dog meeting them at the door, a softly wagging tail greeting them. I think it's our desire to be missed ("oh, aren't I important!")

I'm presently housesitting the three dogs. And NOBODY mentions dogs' desire to kill sweet, innocent animals, drag them inside and seriously cause the gag reflex to go crazy as you STARE AT THE RIPPED OFF BIRD LEG on the blanket that the Boston was sitting on just a short time ago.

Thanks to my sister's boyfriend for getting rid of the evidence of Violence Against Birds.

I have visions of the owners coming back to a "Godfather"-like moment in their bedroom, but I don't dare look THAT hard for the rest of the poor feathered friend.


Tuesday, December 28

Prayers and support

If you're interested in the War in Iraq, and need a bit of an inside view, read this:

A Must Read Email From an American Soldier"

Captain Dan and Brian (blog owner) are childhood friends of mine.

Wednesday, December 22

I wonder as I wander...

Every now and again, I wonder if anyone other than my one friend who IMs me daily reads this blog.

I get the sudden urge to post all of the gifts I'm giving this year here, and see if anyone reads it, and ruins their christmas.

Obviously, I'm not as mean as Target.

Monday, December 20

Grinch Green

Dear Target Corp,
I was surprised when I heard that you weren't allowing Salvation Army bell ringers outside our local Target store. I was sure I had heard them this year, but then remembered that, no, that was in front of Walmart. And I just want you to know that I'm going to make a concerted effort to patronize that store instead of yours. While I may not be able to get around buying certain items at Target, I pledge to go to Walmart for this year as much as possible.

I hope you reconsider your extremely bad judgment next year. In such a society as ours, I’m sure your very smart and expensive lawyers can find a way to legally allow the Salvation Army to solicit and not bind you to allowing everyone and everything solicit in the future. I’ll trust that you’ll pony up the 9 million you’re denying the Salvation Army this year to pay for your lawyers to do this work.

I’m thoroughly disappointed in you, and also, I’m 26. I have a long life ahead of me, and a very good memory.

Merry Christmas, or something like that. Has the Marketing agency you’ve retained done any tests with changing your official color from “Target Red” to “Grinch Green”?


Friday, December 17

unwittingly losing weight

And the reason that you “lose weight with Grape Nuts” is because they use superglue to seal the box AND (just for good measure) the bag inside.

Yet, even the 3M-engineered glue that Post uses is no match for a steak knife in the hands of a famished woman. (Don’t ask why I have a steak knife at my desk).

Thursday, December 16


Hey, a new nickname for another year! Happy Birthday, Friend!

Bouts of Insanity

Today is a My Brain Ain’t A-Workin’ Day. It doesn’t really help that a co-worker said good morning, and in response to my poorly hidden “I don’t really want to talk because I just used up my 4 nice words to the receptionist Good Morning,” replied, “I won’t say good morning to you any more because I know you’re not a morning person. Bwhahahah!”

GRRR. Nice guilt trip. Am I going to be here long enough that I’ll need to exchange my cash to Guilt Currency? That’s what I thought.

So, I grudgingly make small talk (IT HURTS MY HEAD) so coworkers don’t think I’m a complete _____ (fill it in with whatever you’d like) and I go downstairs to find a small miracle: New Creamer to feed my coffee addiction! Yea! (It has been said to me that, for all the coffee I drink, I certainly don’t like the taste of it. No, I don’t. I like the creamer and the caffeine kick I get).

Ah, but the coffee gods are not as generous as they have been in the past. While the bottle's title makes one think of Christmas and everything good that swirls around that most sweet of childhood excitement,


Thanks Coffeemate, for killing any delight I might have experienced during the best cup of coffee of the day.

Igh. The aftertaste alone may cause bouts of insanity. Which will likely result in small talk.

The Chicken or the Egg?

When you arrange for a DD to and from a Christmas Party, are you asked frequently if you have a ride home because a) your car is conspicuously missing from the parking lot, or b) because you drink as much as you like, talk excitedly, hug a lot of people, and not execute the “I’m ok to drive” sham, because It Don’t Matter?

That’s what I thought, too.

Saturday, December 11

It's harder than you think

typing in a blog entry with a both a laptop and an 8 pound dog on your "lap."

Oh, you noticed?

yep. Changed the template colors, and the template. I'm not a bit fan of it, but I'm still trying to remember my one college HTML course. (bwahahhah!) My brother is coming home over Christmas, so I'll make him help me.

Also, I'll work on getting my sidebar back to what it was before.

Thursday, December 9

From 4 days ago

Ains: Is it too early to have the case of the Mondays?
Friend (via IM) : It's never too early. The minute your feet hit the bedroom floor you have the right to a case of the Mondays.
Mom: Absolutely. 12:01 Sunday night is legitimate.

Wednesday, December 8

It's all Matt Damon's fault

So tired that you don’t dare close your eyes while blow drying your hair because when you did that just a second ago you swayed because your body was so desperately close to shutting down and going to sleep on cold linoleum.

And it’s all Matt Damon’s fault for being a good interviewee. And also his mom’s fault for giving him quality genes.

Tuesday, December 7

oh, mercy. {eyeroll}

If I eat my high fat, high protein trail mix for lunch, I can go home at 3:30. Dare I???

Of course, I’ll be abso-LUTE-ly punch drunk from staring at a computer screen for eight SOLID hours, but I might be able to run for 20 minutes and shower before making dinner.

{mortified pause}

Oh my gosh.
{sigh} I just turned into that woman.

Read it. You'll buy it, I'm sure. I am.

I would be remiss in not linking to the second part of Banty Rooster's review: U2's How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb.

Monday, December 6

Its not for pansies anymore

Otherwise known as Bridget Jonesing:

I got Shape magazine yesterday. It was great. What wasn't so great was my attempt at the "Revolving Crescent." (It's a yoga move.) it includes lunging and twisting your upper body while holding your hands and arms in a prayer-like stance. Sounds easy, or so I thought.

It. Kicked. My. Arse.

I did it ONE time. I was supposed to do it three more times, before going to the next of FOUR moves, each of which I was supposed to do 4 times. If I REALLY wanted my butt kicked, I could also add a "Sun Salutation," inbetween EACH of the 4 moves, which itself has 11 moves. Eleven. I did one. My quads still hurt.

Yup. Yoga: 1. Ainsley: 0

This interesting? no.

I can't seem to be humorous or interesting AT. ALL. today. I've tried. I've got fodder. I ran into my ex yesterday. I should be able to write something in a humorous vein. Can I? no. As proven by the last eight sentances.

So I don't expect you to care about these blogs. I'm not sure I care about today's blogs!

Thursday, December 2

Ode to Ken. Or Limerick. Whatever you like.

Departed is Jeopardy’s Ken
Shall we see him ever again?
A chick done him in
With no second win,
And away ran Alex’s Nielsen.
With octaves of a mystic depth and height