Thursday, September 26

Wow, what a month

Well, I can't believe I'm typing out a post. The last three weeks have been full of ups and downs and lots of crying - for both baby and me!

(The entire birth story and pictures are here: . I won't repeat the entire story, and Adam does a better job of writing, anyway. But for those of you who are curious, that is where we're doing the great majority of posting about Charis.)

After the events of Sept 6-11, we came home and settled into a two week routine that included help from my amazing mother. (I need to write a post on my mom's decision to raise me as a single mom, and how I now understand just how much work it was for her to keep me. But that will be for another day.) Our routine included my mom, Adam and me holding Charis nearly all the time, and me doing lots of sitting and feeding her, and sitting and eating, and sitting and drinking lots of water.

Then mom went home, and I'd like to say that I'm exaggerating (and maybe I am), but all hell broke loose. My child cried and pacified and cried some more and wouldn't sleep and cried, and it just felt overwhelming. Somehow I think I believed the subtle lie that all moms believe that if I do "x" I'm going to be ruining my child down the road. For me, "x" was not having scheduled feeding times.

You see, as a pregnant lady, you hear all of these stories about magical children that sleep 4 or 5 hours during the night right off the bat. And somehow I got it into my head that a schedule would help with sleeping through the night. So, when my normal child wakes up every hour and half or less and demands to be fed, both my husband and I feel like there must be something wrong - wrong with me, my milk or something. 

Last night was the worst night. Adam had to finally get up at 3 am when I had been sushing, rocking, singing, feeding her for two hours and he finally got her to sleep. Meaning he got about 4 hours of sleep last night.

So, today I decided: screw it. I'm not going to feed her on a schedule - if she wants to be fed every 30 minutes, then so be it.

And today has gone much, much better. She has fed more often, but she's also slept longer periods. And I've gotten to sleep during those times too.

She's still a bit fussy and finicky. She does much better sleeping tummy down while being held, but since everyone talks about SIDS like "DO ONE THING WRONG AND YOUR BABY WILL DIE," we're still having her sleep on her back. Swaddling helps, but I bet that the minute she's able to sleep on her tummy she'll be sleeping like a champ.

So, that's the update. No big epiphanies for this post. Just a new mama learning the ropes with her new (20 day old) baby.

Ok, I couldn't resist a couple of pictures....! Who doesn't love a sleeping baby?

Charis adores her Mr. Owl

With octaves of a mystic depth and height