Yesterday, after having the dreaded financial conversation with my husband (it's one of the only things we argue about. Sweet Husband didn't realize he was marrying an ascetic), I did a stupid thing and incurred a $20 fee on one of our accounts.
I pounded out 35 emails to people letting them know I won't be around for a week.
Monday, I listened to 3 people's legitimate distress, had two people cancel last minute, and spent 9 hours at the counseling office. I made $0.
Then I thought about the 30 missed hours of paying work, due to weddings and vacation.
And Yesterday, I went home in about the worst mood I had been in for months.
THEN the seamstress left a message asking if I really needed that bridesmaid dress today, or if it could be later, after having not worked on it for a week. Anger bubbled up. (To everyone out there, no, we're leaving on Friday, so I need the dress today to pack).
I wondered on the way home if I was going to pick a fight with my husband. You'd think that I'd know when I was picking a fight, but I'm funny that way. I don't. I'm insightful, but not when I just want to fight because I'm in a foul mood.
Instead, my lovely husband let me tell him how angry I was at myself and the day. He even avoided falling into any trap I might have left, trying for a fight (I don't think I did it, but he avoided it if I did.) And then he kissed me, and we watched the rest of Les Miz.
For all of the difficulties in marriage, and yes, I pick fights and harp on money issues and am tired most days, There are just some lovely parts of it. I wouldn't trade it for the world.
Thursday, June 11
Wednesday, June 3
We're poor. Being as this will likely remain for another few years, we have begun frequently visiting the local STL public library. Yesterday we found the 1934 version of Les Miserables, directed by Raymond Bernard. It's a Criterion Collection film (which Adam likes) and it's Les Miserables, which I like. It's also impressively faithful to the book!