Who ARE these people?

"First off, Nicknames are fun. And second, my loved ones, and I, shall forever be given obscure nicknames, until I shall decide otherwise."

That's what I said for almost two years. Two things have changed since I started this blog. First, most people who read it (like, everyone) know me personally and know that I'm the author, not some girl named Ainsley (see the bottom comment for the meaning of this nickname).

Second, I'm heading off to grad school, and most people will be keeping up with me via this blog.

So. I'm still going to utilize nicknames for others because I like them, and also for reference, as some people might go back and read my old posts.

The Madre - This is obvious. And unlikely to change, since her real nickname in life is an imaginative "Mom."

Little Shoe Girl (Also LSG) - My sister. I have a gazillion nicknames for her, but all of them have some kind of take off of her real name, except for Buca De Beppo. Which still does, but has more to do with an Italian place. I named her Little Shoe Girl because her nickname at age 4 was "Imelda." If you can't figure out why, uh, well. I'm not sure what to say to you.

Big Little Bro. (formerly given the obvious name of "The Bro.") Not that this one isn't obvious, but LSG told me that I needed to update it, as I was refering to him by this new name, and she is correct. BLB is ...pretty much awesome, and hilarious, but he's the quietest one in the family (I'm the loud one) so you have to know him fairly well for him to crack jokes around you. When he does, watch out. You'll just about pee your pants.

The Divine Miss M. This one is by far the best nickname I've come up with. I'm quite proud of myself. Divine Miss M is my friend. Her nickname is a double entendre: Her name begins with an M, she's not married, and she's just finished her Master's degree in Divinity. The second reason is that we love a song by Bette Midler (the first Divine Miss M) titled "I'm beautiful (Dammit!)" Life is barely complete without singing that song, Ladies.
I live at Divine Miss M's parents' house, in their basement. They're my second family.

Ghetto Phone Boy - Little Shoe Girl's husband. He's super cool and our family loves him to death. He's also Big Little Bro's tennis partner --He's great. His phone was held together with Duct tape, which I think is funny, and totally white trash (which he's so very not). It's now not, and he's now got the nicest phone of us all. He'll be cashing that one in for a Razr soon!

iTones - taking off on the apple craze, combining it with her unique name. One of the few friends that still resides in Minneapolis, thereby still making it home. Also, she is one of the most giving people I know - easy to remember when I'm around her, but making it that much harder not to kidnap her and stow her away in my luggage to MT each time I visit MN.

My Other Brain (Used to post under Transcrap)- Ya know, I had this great nickname for him. Something about the perfect lawn - he was bragging about it, and I threatened that it was going to be a permanent nickname. He'll read this and then tell me**. He's my twin brother, if you can be twins by two different mothers, 7 years apart with 2 states seperation "at birth".
** Ok, he did tell me, but I changed it, because this was SO MUCH BETTER of a name than Transcrap.

Trae - My friend, whom I love. She gave me a valentine's gift once in college, and for that, I am always grateful ;). She also regularly shows me by her actions what true friendship looks like.

Stranded on a Desert Island: My California friend ("We got more bounce in California...than All ya'll combined!") with whom I went to college. Her name is part of the nickname, and if I were ever stuck on a Desert Island, I'd want her around! She is one of the most entertaining and fun people alive. She rocks at hairstyling and rubs elbows with celebs every now and again. I'm jealous of the fact that she's seen Pete Sampras in real life.

(And what about my former Alias?) Ainsley: My Other Brain gave me that nickname while we were working on Republican politics in Minnesota in a district that hadn't been won by a republican in more than 40 years. "I referred to you as that because of your sharp, gregarious Republican wit," says he. Also, he said once something about me being a firecracker of a Republican. I like that comment better.

Uh, that's about all I can think of right now. I'll add to as is needed.

Thoughts on the last few exboyfriends.

I’ve almost always associated songs with my boyfriends as I’m dating them, and especially as the relationship is ending. I’ve actually gotten quite good at it, or so I think.

Most Recent Ex (spring, 2004): Life For Rent – Dido

“I haven't really ever found a place that I call home
I never stick around quite long enough to make it
I apologize that once again I'm not in love
But it's not as if I mind that your heart ain't exactly breaking”
~"Life for Rent"

I was actually really surprised how clearly these lyrics resonated with me, because I heard them and loved them well before we broke up. But I still stayed in a place of denial for about 6 more months. I was in a place of forcing something to work that just wasn’t going to. I hope that I’m now a bit more discerning in my knowing when to fold my cards.

Scarily, Dido’s whole Life for Rent album has parts that apply to me in my last relationship: Not really wanting to let him in, not really respecting him (although he’s an incredibly nice and kind person) a la “This Land is Mine” – Hey, I’ll let you play in my world, but remember who’s really in charge of it. Me.

Ex Before the Last

If Dido’s Life for Rent had thematic strains that met some nuances of my last relationship, Faith Hill just whaled on me when she released Cry as I was at the end of my relationship in 2002.

“Packed my tools, went back to school
Passed my graduation
And I hold my Ph.D in Crash Test Blues, I paid those dues”
~"Free"

And while I didn’t want to be “Free” from him, especially not as quickly as he wanted to be from me, singing a song that I wanted to feel - even if I didn’t at that very moment - was good for me. I especially loved the irony of the Ph.D I felt I got, while he was pursuing his own real Ph.D.

But Ex 2002’s song will always be “Cry.” Nothing came as close to how I felt to how he felt (or so I supposed). We haven’t spoken to one another since the Christmas night he said that it was “him and not me” (roll your eyes here) and I wished him luck with his life.

"Give it up, Baby. I hear you’re doin’ fine
Nothing’s gonna save me, I can see it in your eyes
Some kind of heartache honey, Give it a try.
I don’t want Pity, I just want what is mine."
~"Cry"

For me, “What is mine,” was the time and effort I spent on him. Selfish? Yes. I was. (I still am)

He taught me two wonderful things, though. Actually he didn’t. God did. One was that God’s sovereignty is perfect, even in the midst of a broken heart. At that time, it was merely a little dinghy in the middle of a lake of pain. But by clinging desperately to that inside, God prepared me to hold onto a bigger ship of faith when the pain became an ocean, not a lake.

Ex 2002 also taught me to guard my heart. I neglected the good advice of his sister and mom, and I see know how foolish it is not to accept the wise counsel of others.

To sum, within this decade I’d say I learned two blazing lessons 1) God’s sovereignty always reigns, is always good, and it’s most important to cling to that in the midst of pain. God doesn’t waste our time or pain.

2) I need to listen to those around me that know me best. Closing my eyes to reality doesn’t help the situation, nor does it help my boyfriend. If he’s not to be mine, he’s not going to be, and prolonging it just. . . doesn’t work!

God’s been pretty gracious – I’ve prayed for both men, when I’ve heard specific situations are happening or going to happen in their lives. Listen, that’s only by the grace of God. Forgiveness is not easy for anyone.

For me, I’m clinging to the hem of Jesus . nothing will undo my grip on Christ.

Friday Photo - The Bridger Mountains

I can't wait for May! And yes, I actually took this picture. Unless Divine Miss M did, and I messed up the folders...which is always a possibility. :)

Thanks, Little Shoe Girl

LSG says she got "Toothbrush" and she and her roommate don't think it's true.

This is me:

You are a sock.

You are a cozy, fuzzy, warm-hearted person.
A lot of your friends describe you as a hopeless romantic.
You fall for the opposite sex very easily. But be careful,
because usually you don't know what you are getting into,
and because you are very sensitive, you can get hurt...
especially in early relationships. Also, don't exclude the
cold-hearted from your "want-list", because they just
might be looking for a kind person to warm up their heart....
or a sock to warm up their feet.

Most compatible with: Toilet Paper.


Click here -- What Random Object
Represents Your Inner Self?

Tuesday Quote on Wednesday

One of my favorite Bono quotes.

When those people get up at the Grammys and say, "I thank God," I always imagine God going, "Oh, don't--please don't thank me for that one. Please, oh, that's an awful one! Don't thank me for that--that's a piece of [crap]!"

Talk about Common Grace!

I met two new people on Saturday. Both asked me out on a date, but the second one I didn't accept, because it was from a 5-year-old girl who knew me all of 20 minutes while sitting behind me at a basketball game.

Her name is Payton, as in Manning. And she is a doll of a little girl - very smart - "Whip smart" her aunt said. A little tiny thing (I'm a sucker for little kids - the ones that are smaller than the rest of their age group) with a black sweater, yellow and black plaid skirt with cutie little knee high boots. She subconsciously moves her hair behind her ears and leans forward in anticipation when she talks. She's five!

Oh, and every few minutes - a little tap on my shoulder - with something like! the tiny kitten her cousin had! and they named him Lewis for "Lewistown" where they found him, and, and, and!

By the end, I had taught her how to cheer for the team (sitting two bleachers below) in her tiny little voice: "Good joooobbb Toooommmm! Goood Jooooobbbb Brett!" (Kudos for Brett for turning around and flashing the sweetest high school boy smile at a little girl and making her night), she'd "practiced" the Majorette routine with the girls, and once again offered a free dinner (of course without asking the proper "authorities!")

The remark over and over from her aunt and uncle? "You missed your calling! You should have been an elementary school teacher"! (If you know me, you know what crazy laughter went through my head!) Also with the "Threat/compliment" that they were going to hire me as a full time nanny!

Chalk that up to teaching Sunday School. You want to learn how to engage little kids? Teach 'em! And is there anything better to teach them than how great and big and powerful is our God?

Well, unfortunately, it was the last home game for the basketball team. So I likely won't see her again until she's 6 (in October, as I found out within 1 minute of conversation with her). But I did catch her address from her aunt - and as I know the Majorette Coach, little Payton might just get her wish of being a majorette - or at least a picture!

To end, I gave my brother this piece of advice "Bro, it doesn't matter if she's 5 or 25 - if you want to get a girl to like you, just compliment her on her clothes!"

What started all this? "Oooh! I like your skirt!"

Ghetto Phone Boy - 'Tis the Reason...

...for His Nickname. And, yes, that's duct tape!

The Long Day is Over

"So If you'll only call me Anne-with-an-'e', I'll try to reconcile myself to not being called Cordelia."

ugghh....
Today was the busiest boring day I've had. Which is typical when I attend one of the events that it seems I'm continually planning. When overseeing an event, I usually start the day around 5:30, which I understand for many people is normal. I however, am usually sleeping for another hour on any given morning. Today it was up at 5:30, work, work, punctuated with a bit of panic, work, work read, read, read, read, lather, rinse, repeat.

Done at 6. And I'm usually pretty good at answering questions, finding fixes and managing problems quietly but after 11 straight hours, my brain is fried.

So mom decided it was a night to revel in the kindness and sweetness of Matthew Cuthbert while giggling at the antics of one Miss Anne Shirley.

The Bro loves this movie! {heavy dose of sarcasm}

Friday's picture postponed

My sincere apologies to those who look forward to Friday's picture. I'm going to be away from a computer for a few days. When I do post it (hopefully on Saturday night) You'll see why it was worth the wait. Hopefully you'll think it's as funny as I think it is.

Update on Blind Dates:

So, remember this rant? Well, the Sunday after the date, my cousin, her husband and I went to church, our sister church up in that town. One of our associate pastor's son is the associate pastor there. That sounds strange, but it really makes a lot of sense, if you know both of them. It was great seeing a brother/friend I grew up with preach (the senior pastor was on sabbatical).

Well, Associate Pastor's wife (here, at my church) talked with my mom. I wish I could do a characterization of her justice. She's one of the most knowledgable, theolgically solid women that I know. She'll also just about bowl you over getting to know you - especially if you're new to our church. Powerhouse? Doesn't begin to describe this woman. She's a dear. I love her to death. But she is a force to be reckoned with!

She thinks I ought to go up to this college town and the sister church more often. Which makes sense. I love her son and his wife, and would love to hang out helping out with their kids, see my cousin, be available for...ya know...whatever. BUT, did she mention the cute guy I saw (single, yes) at church as someone to keep my eyes open for? Nope. Mentioned the THIRTY-SEVEN year old philosophy Ph.D. Which, yes, at one point I did date a Ph.D student, but...

37? I'm just not THAT mature!

Yes!

It's a good day when you decide to wear an unknown skirt that you think your mom must have given you as a cast off and you put it on and tug at it a little and realize that she must have bought it thinking that it was one of those "hey it looks smaller than it's sized so that's why it hasn't sold" items.

The great part is that when you tugged at it, it fell off. (Which, since your mom is only a size bigger than you, also explains why this particular garment isn't getting a lot of wear.)

So you know you didn't just grow 4 sizes.

(Late) Tuesday Quote

Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she has laid an asteroid.

Mark Twain

Confessions of a Valentine's Day Scrooge

So, what happens to Scrooge in the end? Yup, that's right.

Remember this thing I said?

"Now, I know that there are many families out there who buy one another valentine's gifts and express general feelings of appreciation and love."

Yeah, remind me not to talk, because God loves to do this to me. I get my smartass on and God goes, "Well, I think that this needs to change, just so she sees what a brat she is." And then he has The Madre not only make a really great dinner BUT THEN, she gets us gifts.

(The Bro was especially funny - "What is going on?" So I am a bit vindicated in that it has only been recently that the romantic "special" emphasis on V-day has changed.)

In a moment of pure evil genius, The Madre got Short Circuit, a movie declared by me as "The Best movie EVER made!" at the perceptive age of eight. I believe I also delcared it that I would never love a movie as much as I loved it. I stand by that statement.

We're watching it now-

Quoth The Madre: "The humor is so cute. You can't help but laugh at it."
Ains: "I know. That's why it's The best movie ever made."
{giggles}

Oh, this made my day. And Practical!

The Survival Guide

Happy Valentine's Day, Everyone! By the way - To Divine Miss M: "Work your Wit" made me sad because that would have been the BEST Valentine's day "date" we could have had! As long as we topped off with Dublin Mudslide! I suppose next year :)

As it is, The Madre asked me to dinner, the Second Annual Ainsely-won't-try-to-skin-the-salmon-before-cooking-it-like-she-did-last-year Valentines dinner. Last Year Little Shoe Girl kept me from starting a grease fire. We'll see how The Bro does this year (I'm trying not to giggle).

blah-da-da-da-daahhh-da, Memmm-ries

The Way We Were is THE LONGEST MOVIE EVER.

My poor brother and LSG's Boyfriend. Sheesh, they are patient. Although the LSGB got up after it ended, so does that mean he didn't want to leave before it ended?

I'll tell ya though, Bah-Bwa Streisand is so annoying in it - I can't believe Robert Redford's character stuck with her for the time he did. I mean, granted, I get pretty passionate about things (Caps? I don't use Caps), but real-LEY. I don't think it was that much of a stretch for her to play the outspoken Jewish Communist. But now I can say I saw that movie. I guess This one or This one is next. The Madre says that they're both infinitely better than "The Way We Were."

However - Great Song (when Bah-Bwa's not singing).

And on a completely separate note:
I think I'll start calling LSG's boy "Ghetto phone." he's the only one I know that's used duct tape to fix his cell.

Hearts, red, pink, white. Construction paper. It was good then.

Honestly, I try not to be a Valentines scrooge. It's a hard part of me to get rid of, though. Valentines day, with a few notable exceptions (I do love ya, Trae!), has been pretty much a craptastic affair since it stopped being appropriate to make a creative box (usually out of shoe boxes, multiple ones) in order to gain a valentine from every kid in your class. Hopefully your crush was IN your class, and not Mrs. Nave's because then you wouldn't get a REAL valentine, but if he was! Well, the boyish scrawl was that much more meaningful. He obviously practiced a few times to betray his unexpressed feelings. As did you. It was only natural to pick out the most flirtatious valentine for the cutie in the class. He was also smart enough to "get it." (roooiight!) And it was only a matter of time before holding hands in the big monstertruck tire at recess (the one that held TWO couples) was a completed deal.

But that's where my inner V-Scrooge pops his head up. I've absolutely tried everything to make Valentines day less of a huge deal, but in a conversation today with my mom, I realize why I just will hate this day: simply because in our family, Valentines day has been equated with romantic love/lover. (i.e., begging parents to send me flowers so that I wasn't the only 8th grade girl not getting them was returned with "I only get valentine's day gifts for my valentine.")

Now, I know that there are many families out there who buy one another valentine's gifts and express general feelings of appreciation and love. But I think one of my biggest irritations is that I legitimately don't like the holiday. I don't mean to crap on anyone else's Cupid-filled day but I really try to keep it just another Monday to me. (Except that year in college I felt so sorry for myself I went and blew $100 on perfume and clothes. I'll try not to do that this year.)

Ok, so that's pretty much it. Please don't say "God is my Valentine," because I'm not even going to go into what a saccharine excuse that is. Right up there with "Jesus is my boyfriend." Just a whole MESS of ....I don't know. Those words should just never come out of anyone's mouth.

Yes, I know I'm loved, I don't doubt that. Really, honestly loved. It's the emphasis on romantic-love-you're-not-in-on-the-secret-this-is-a-great-time-for-a-Valentines-party-so-that-you-don't-feel-left-out-but-strangely-only-singles-are-at-this-party feel of America's Valentine's 'celebration' that just gets right under the skin.

Well, I know that there are many out there that will just YELL at me because of my scroogeness. The line starts to the left.

Scrappy-Doo! Look this way! (Friday Photo)

But this is my good side!

This Just-In....

Well, likely my posts will be shorter than normal until the weekend - my job just got crazy busy, and since I do a lot of my thinking of posts during the day and upload them onto Yahoo Briefcase (thank you Yahoo! Best of luck in your war to take over the world! May the Best website win!) to edit and post later in the day, busy work days don't allow for a lot of thinking unless it's "Did I pay that instructor?"

I actually have a great post rolling around in my head. Getting in out onto..."paper" and edited to make sense is harder.

Getting it out into cyberspace? Is that what we'd call it now?

Anyway, stay tuned. I'll be around. Prayers that I'll do my job well are also appreciated ;)

No, oh please, no.

So, I'm on ABC's site, annoyed that I have to give them my credit card number in order to see the video of this. Deciding against taking the chance that I'll forget to unsubscribe, and thereby swear my first child and all that is good and holy (along with my credit balance) to them, I instead glance down to see an funny headline: Police Say Man Signaled Turns During Chase .

"Ha, Ha!" I think to myself. Then, I read the dateline.

Serves me right for assuming that these types of things only happen in the South.


Maybe he came from the South...!

That why it's called a "peeve"

Have I mentioned this before?

Grr. Today was worse than normal. Why is it those who are LOUD decide that they should talk? Why don't the quiet people talk? I guess that's the point....

Tuesday's Quote

The only time folks talk about human covenants is in premarital counseling. How anemic. If our God is a covenantal God then all of relationships are covenantal. The gospel is not about how much I love God (I typically love him very little); it is about how much God loves me.

My relationships are not about how much friends should love me, they are about how much I get to love them. No single should ever expect relational impoverishment by virtue of being single. We should covenant to love people, to initiate, to serve, to commit.

~Paige Benton