Today was a day of grace and tragedy.
For one, it is my birthday - I'm a year older and I feel the march of time.
It's easy for me to forget that life is fragile. I wasn't supposed to be, and that knowledge has shaped who I am. I was chosen, by more than my mom or my dad, though both actively chose me. My birthday reminds me yearly how loved I am. And yet, for the last few weeks, I've forgotten that, and felt a sense of entitlement, and disappointment when expectations that I hold haven't yet been fulfilled.
Tonight, after a birthday dinner that included a very, very nice restaurant, sweet and thoughtful gifts, a flat tire, frustration resulting from said tire, and a few phone calls to friends letting them know that the night plans would be postponed for a bit, I received distressing news.
One of my closest friends in town has introduced me to her dear friend. I enjoy her friend immensely - mostly through anecdotes and a vicarious friendship through my friend. Her friend's husband was killed in an avalanche accident- two years younger than me, married for 2 years and expecting their first child.
Oh. The miserable life we lead - a cursed life. As my friend prayed through tears together, I felt deeply the strong ties that connect Christians, and understand why we call each other "sisters and brothers in Christ." For I really won't be able to do much for this friend of a friend. And yet, I deeply mourn for her, I weep for her and her sweet child. I wonder at the suffering of My Family - and while one could say my immediate family has suffered, I am struck more by the widespread suffering of those also who are my family through Christ, and how they suffer greatly.
I told my friend, this is how I know I'm not God - If I were, I would bring him back for Addie right away. Now. This second.
As it is, I can only remember a man I never met as my brother and weep.
Strange how we are so tied to one another, the universal church. It is a mystery. A mystery of Christianity.
No comments:
Post a Comment