Thursday, July 14

The Easy Life

I was going to write about our vacation first, but I cannot seem to get around to going through the photos. My "OCD" is getting a hold of me. (I use that colloquially, as I actually have had several OCD clients, and I know I am not about to flip the light switch 17 times to protect my family from utter destruction). So, here's what I've actually written. It's where I'm at.

The Easy Life may very well be deepest desire of my heart. I imagine that as the months (without a clear direction) go by, I am going to wish for an easier and easier life. I want to know what is going to happen in life. I want to know what my role is, I want to know if my education and experience will combine in order to have a job that I love and feel a sense of contentment in.

Spoke with my sister recently over Skype. First off, her dog is a) the cutest and b) the funniest dog in existence as he constantly searched behind the computer to find the body that was sure to go with the talking head.

She and I talked about confusion. When things, events or circumstances don't look like what a person first thought they'd  look like. Each of us have many different areas in our life that we feel confused and wonder where this path will lead/end, as our life paths turn and twist in ways we didn't suppose. 

I don't know about her, but a little more "easy" and a little more verbal communication from the Lord is all I'm asking for. < / sarcasm >

In that context, during my reading of Job today (from my beloved "Bible Reading Plan for Shirkers and Slackers", which I restarted this year uh, week) Job recounts a similar thing: "Why did I not die at birth, for then I would have lain down and been quiet, I would have slept; then I would have been at rest." (Job 3:11a;13)

Ok, so I don't have sores from the crown of my head to my feet, nor am I in the throes of depression as is Job's case, but he says it. Just in a chapter of poetry, and not "Um, what the heck, God?" as would be my poetry.

I realize I'm not gleaning all of the theological meaning there, but as I read it, I heard Job go, "THIS IS SO HARD, GOD. Why couldn't I just have avoided all of it?"

I'm not at the end of Job. And as a counselor, I know to rush the reassurance of "It will be ok" or "in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose" is just frustrating when timed inappropriately. Scripture, even GOOD scripture (the right thing) must be used at the right time, in the right way.

I'll keep reading and I'll see what God has, plans that I can't even imagine.

No comments:

With octaves of a mystic depth and height