Well, Adam and I had planned life to look a certain way. And God is creative and like surprises. I think that because God knows all things, he must live a little vicariously through his creatures and decides to surprise us.
I don't really like surprises, and never have. Adam and I agreed when we were first married to never plan surprise birthday parties for one another.
This surprise was not fun or exciting nor do I think of it as a postive thing right now.
Last week, Eric Youngblood at Rock Creek Fellowship quoted or said, "If you're not suffering now, you will be soon." I thought of our life, and how things had been so good, and in that moment I thought, "Well, I'm not suffering now, and I don't see any obvious suffering in the future."
Suffering for me comes in the form of disappointing news regarding a job. It comes as I'm pretty much alone in a new place with only acquaintances - though they are lovely and nice. I miss my support system in St. Louis. I miss my family.
So I'm now looking for a job. I'm looking for a place to be, a role to have, a way to contribute to the community as a whole. And it's hard when you presume to know these things - who you are, where you belong, what your role is - and it changes or does not come to pass.
So I look at God and say, "So now what?"