Transition, Adjustment, Lethargy, mild Depression. They're all kind of the same thing.
And this low level, mild, depression is a difficult thing to get your mind around. It's like "I could eat." It's not that you're really hungry, and there may not be anything to remedy, but it's there.
It's the feeling - a sense - that things aren't right, but that there's nothing really to do differently.
This is funny and, from a therapy standpoint, mostly true:
Addie told me in a comment that my purpose (for The Right Now) was to be happy. And I took that to heart. I asked myself, "Why am I not happy? I'm doing whatever it is I want to do, whenever I want to do it." This, I have found, does not lead to happiness or contentment.
I was encouraged last night to get a schedule and to stick (mostly) to it. Make sure my hubs sees that there is productivity in this time that I don't have a Go-To-Work job. I DID create a schedule about two weeks ago....but sticking to it? Not so much.
Which brings us to my contimplation as to why I haven't been productive so far. And in my heart, I realize, it's this lethargic-depressive-unmotivated seed that has taken hold and surrounded my mind. It tells me that one more hit on Etsy will make me happy. That one more documentary on Elisabeth I will bring me contentment. To push off the dishes will keep me from discontentment.
But all of these things come, anyway.
So today is The First Day. It's already feels more like the old days than before: I'm up first. (in the 3 years of marriage, I've almost nearly always been up well before hubby.)
Today, Electronic Blogging World, I will:
Shirk and Slack
Go to the Farmers Market. Buy fresh Veg. Team them with brown rice.
Go for a run!
Finish 5+ notes for Licensure.
Do all the dishes
Get a Load of Laundry finished.
I will not:
Get sucked into all the mommy blogs about organization (holy cow...! Have you seen this black hole...?)
Spend an hour on Etsy
Blog all my day away. (Sorry. I do love you Blogworld.)