Friday, November 25

The story

My husband and I apparently are fairly private people. I know why he is - he has tact. I think I am more private as of late because of my training as a therapist. I know it isn't because I have tact!

Nearly a year ago, my husband and I started our attempts at "starting a family." Those are his words. I'm sure that at my finest, I might be a little more colorful in my words. Pregnancy never occurred.

I was certain it was because I was so stressed out as a private therapist - trying to keep our little world afloat on $11,000 a year. When My Husband, The Saint, graduated from grad school, he was immediately offered a job (in a terrible economy, in fact). We moved to a financial secure world, certain that this was the context in which we would attain pregnancy.

I had read everything there was out there about getting pregnant, and was faithfully buying the proper "stuff" - sticks to pee on, tracking my temperature, checking "fluid," etc. Each month, my period came and some months I took it in stride - especially early on. I thought that it would certainly take us 3-6 months to get pregnant. But, as months 8...11..12... 14 came around and we failed, I became more and more depressed, just feeling a sense of doom and hoping that I was wrong.

I went in for a normal gynecological exam, and the nurse asked me about endometriosis. I cried and said, no, no one in my family had it. Beginning periods early in life, Painful cramps, difficulty conceiving? (She had described me exactly.)  "No," I responded, "I mean, we've all had painful cramps, but that's just part of life, isn't it?"

Apparently not.

We were referred to a specialist who also predominantly talked about endometriosis. I started looking it up online, and prepared for a number of tests. The ultrasound showed a clear growth of endometriosis on my left ovary. Surgery was scheduled.

I was desperate to find anything hopeful,  and the second test - an x-ray called an HSG showed that my tubes were open. I cried with happiness. At least there's ONE thing that was right in my body.

Oh, but not so fast! Even though the tubes were open, the dye that they inserted into my uterus and fallopian tubes didn't fill the abdominal cavity as normal. The doctor doing the test didn't seem super excited about what he was seeing on the TV. I left feeling ambivalent.

We met with our doctor, and she said, Yes, in fact, there were many signs that I had at least severe endometriosis. We prepared for surgery.

1 comment:

Addie said...

Privacy is overrated.

With octaves of a mystic depth and height