Tonight I caught the end of "An Ideal Husband." Quite humorous. So here are a few quotes to humor you as well:
Mabel: You are very late!
Lord Arthur Goring: Have you missed me?
Lord Arthur Goring: Then I am sorry I did not stay away longer. I like being missed.
Mabel: How very selfish of you!
Lord Arthur Goring: I am very selfish.
Mabel: You are always telling me of your bad qualities, Lord Goring.
Lord Arthur Goring: I have only told you half of them as yet, Miss Mabel!
Mabel: Really! Are the others very bad?
Lord Arthur Goring: Quite dreadful! When I think of them at night, I go to sleep at once.
Sir Robert Chiltern: Anyway, what's that saying about there being plenty of fish in the sea? Lord Arthur Goring: Ah, yes, but I couldn't possibly marry a fish. I'd be sure to land an old trout.
Lord Arthur Goring: Father, there's someone there I'd like you to talk with.
Lord Caversham: What about?
Lord Arthur Goring: About me, sir.
Lord Caversham: Not a subject on which much eloquence is possible.