A few months ago, I noticed something happening. I would wake up, get a cup of coffee, log into facebook, and stare at all the things going on in people's lives. Good things. Shiny lives. Every now and again a prayer request of some kind as an indication that something was amiss, but by and large just posts of how well things were going in other's lives.
So I started posting a lot of Spurgeon, Scottie Smith, other pastors that were slowly ministering to my heart. Hoping it would stem the tide of Shiny, and get to Real.
But it remained that I would log off of FB and get ready for the day feeling outcast, covetous and angry with God.
I tried managing my Newsfeed so that only certain people would pop up, but Facebook is tenacious that way. Take people out that are semi-close friends of yours, and the really random people start showing up. Oh, and they have lots of perfect lives, too.
So I quietly quit Facebook.
I didn't make a splash, didn't announce it ("I'm fasting from FB, message me" kind of a thing.) Just...stopped logging in.
Knowing that I had made a habit of checking FB, I revamped my Google Reader, which I truly can manage with interesting articles and those blogs that are so very encouraging to me. Many of them - frankly - have to do with grief, and how God redeems lives, and gives joy in spite of the shadows and valleys. People share more of their lives - the good and the hard - when they have multiple paragraphs to do so.
I'm happier. Well, more content. I pay more attention to the voice of the Lord. I read my devotions in the morning, instead of FB.
I do check a few FB pages about once a week - those of friends I actually talk to regularly, just to be sure that I'm keeping up. Some of the college students we work with, my husband's page. I have notifications set up if people message me.
I just stopped looking at the Feed. Feeding me shiny, happy lies of unbroken lives.
3 comments:
As you may know, since you may be reading Momastery regularly (are you? if so, we need to discuss some of her recent posts!!), the motto over there is "Carry On, Warrior." My heart shouted that out to you as I read this post. That and "Amen, sister!" :) Love you, friend - so glad we can be dull & damaged together in real life, not a fake cyberworld!
So, I think I finally read the posts you were talking about - we most definitely need to chat!
Hmm. I only just saw this, and I often have to remind myself that FB is a highlights reel, not the full Monty. In fact, I often hide people who use it almost exclusively to complain (mostly because they complain about petty things, not deep grief - that's different!). I'm glad that, by drawing a boundary, you're finding more peace.
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