Soul's Expression

Hot and flash

2012-02-29T19:56:00.001-07:00

Yeah, so the hotflashes have begun in earnest now. For the first month it was pretty brilliant. I had no side effects, except that one time when I caught the stomach bug and blamed it on Lupron. But it was definitely the stomach bug. But now, I have a little experience every morning, right around 8 am. It's hilarious, the typical things I do - grab something to fan myself. Who knew that it's the

A Quiet Life

2012-02-25T11:32:00.001-07:00

My grandpa died on February 11th. I was standing in front of my closet tonight, putting socks away, picking out my clothes for tomorrow and realized my grandpa was gone. It's not a new thought, and one that I've thought about a lot over the last few days, but the sadness rolled over me. I didn't cry, as I have before, but I simply realized how much I will miss him and how sad I am that

Getting ready

2012-02-04T08:00:00.000-07:00

Well, in a lot of areas in life, I am getting ready: Last week, I was getting ready to get a shot. I got it. I'm now on the path of false (temporary) menopause (and if that doesn't scream "PARRRTAYYY!," I really don't know what does.) I'm getting ready for bone loss - caramel candy calicum chews! I'm getting ready for weight gain. I'm getting ready for hot flashes: I've already

Sad for people I don't know

2012-02-02T05:34:00.000-07:00

Last month, one of my favorite bloggers, Dooce, and her husband posted on their respective websites that they are separated. She is one of the most-read bloggers of all time and a few years ago, both quit their jobs to run her blog/website. They made $40,000/month. Heather (her real name) and Jon always seemed as though they had an almost magical relationship, one that superseded her chronic

A Million Times

2012-01-27T12:43:00.000-07:00

Listen to this StoryCorps. I began my drive to work late today. I'm late most days, which is not something I'm proud of. On Fridays, StoryCorps airs at 8:30, and I love the glimpse into other people's lives. And as I made my way down the mountain, I listened to the deep, scratchy grief in this man's voice and how even now, so many years later, the grief crashes over him and he soldiers on. And

How to walk with someone facing infertility

2012-01-24T21:00:00.000-07:00

I've Googled "infertility" "endometriosis" more often than is probably emotionally healthy, and there are a lot of women out there (some really, super-angry women) struggling with infertility. Many of those women have written "What NOT to say" blogs. But in the interest of helping friends of those who struggle with infertility, here's my contribution to the blogosphere. You'll notice

The Cruise. Photo overload!

2012-01-21T08:12:00.000-07:00

Oh, The Cruise. It was FABULOUS! We really loved being with my family and the eating and the drinking. It was SUCH a good time. A once in a lifetime thing for us, partially because of Dad's stroke (it renders him pretty darn tired for two days after traveling, so having the room available for him 24-7 was perfect) and it also allowed us to see such beautiful sights. Here: Near a Really old

Better (while simultaneously angering parents everywhere)

2011-12-10T20:21:00.001-07:00

As I re-read the last two posts, it makes sense that people would respond with empathy and concern. And, this post isn't going to, nor is it intended to "undo" the expression of emotion that I've posted before. However, the last two days have not been full of weeping and gnashing of teeth. I have been thinking on something my husband said, which I believe is true, and also has the risk of

Different ears

2011-12-09T05:23:00.001-07:00

My husband and I have different ears. We hear things very differently. I leave the fertility specialist in tears almost every time we see her. Dr. Scotchie is amazing, and she's only a few years older than me. She's a terribly empathetic physician, which is a high value for me, as I've interacted with a number of strange, odd, blunt, impersonal physicians (when my dad had his stroke).

Christmas Lights Therapy

2011-12-07T20:21:00.001-07:00

There's something about being a counselor that makes you unafraid to diagnose yourself with various ailments. Depression for one. I think most counselors - well, most decent counselors - are pretty good at self-analyzing, and realizing when they are blue, dark, depressed, down. Just the other day at work, one of the counselors mentioned her annual wrestling match with that general feeling of

Day 5

2011-11-27T21:38:00.001-07:00

Today was pretty good. After taking a recovery step back, I took.it.easy today. It did make for a very boring day, but hopefully I'll be even more energized and pain free tomorrow. Today was probably the first day that I didn't notice any residual shoulder pain. I awoke with a headache, but I attribute that to sitting strangely while knitting. I'm sore near the incisions and internally, but

Day 4

2011-11-26T22:00:00.001-07:00

Day four, I expected to be easier and less pain. Instead I took a step back and ended up where I was on day 2. Tomorrow I will not move! No bending over, no reaching. I shouldn't have pushed myself. I get super super sad at the end of each night. I think partially because of the drugs, partially because of wearyness of my body fighting to be better, partially because of the difficulty being on

Day 3

2011-11-25T20:39:00.001-07:00

Post op day 3 looked a lot like taking it easy - really easy. My sleeping was significantly better - I woke up once during the night. I slept until 7, went back to bed at 8 when I realized I was so tired, got up at 9. stayed up a little and shopped online with hubby (it WAS Black Friday, after all.) Took a nap around 1. My eyes were still dialated from the patch, but seemed to be significantly

Days 1 and 2 after laparoscopic surgery

2011-11-25T19:30:00.000-07:00

The first night after surgery, well, it was nothing like I thought it would be. When I was put under at age 16, to have my wisdom teeth out, I slept for 24 hours afterward. Woke up and ate Jello, soup, was pretty much good to go. I realized that I would not be "good to go," and I was pretty anxious about the pain that would come with the surgery. What I wasn't expecting was my inability to sleep

The story

2011-11-25T12:47:00.001-07:00

My husband and I apparently are fairly private people. I know why he is - he has tact. I think I am more private as of late because of my training as a therapist. I know it isn't because I have tact! Nearly a year ago, my husband and I started our attempts at "starting a family." Those are his words. I'm sure that at my finest, I might be a little more colorful in my words. Pregnancy never

Jobs, Roles, and overcoming Bitterness

2011-10-13T05:26:00.001-06:00

Ah! the urge to write a post has overcome me again! I guess a follow up on my previous posts would be a good starting place. Obviously, I was pretty irritated (a nicer word than angry) about not being hired to a position that I was clearly able to do. I struggled a bit with bitterness and resentment, realizing I was blaming the person that didn't hire me for the confustion I felt regarding

10 Years Later, September 11th

2011-09-11T16:10:00.000-06:00